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You Know You’re Italian When…

1.  It’s totally fine to live at home years after you graduate college.

2.  At family parties, there are five Anthonys, ten Joes, six Franks, and eight Michaels.

3.  It’s impossible to talk with your hands in your pockets.

4.  Every Sunday consists of church, visiting your grandparents, and pasta, pasta, pasta.

5.  Christmas Eve is more important than Christmas Day.

6.  You’ve heard your grandparents’ immigration stories a million times.

7.  Trying to lose weight always seems like an impossible battle.

8.  Your favorite movie is Moonstruck.

9.  During the Christmas season, your family devoted an entire day to bake Christmas cookies with your aunts and cousins.

10.  You have at least ten pictures or statues of Padre Pio or St. Anthony scattered around your house.

11.  Nutella is your ultimate weakness.

12.  You have a love/ hate relationship with the TV show Jersey Shore.

13.  All of your family members grow their own vegetables in their gardens.

14.  You, your mom, and all of your aunts read Adriana Trigiani.

15.  Christmas Eve is all about the fish.

16.  Easter morning is all about the frittata.

17.  Pasta is served before the turkey at Thanksgiving.

18.  The cookies for your wedding shower are already made, and you’re not even engaged.

19.  Making “gravy” is a day long event.

20.  Your family always wants to know why you’re not married.

21.  If someone disrespects Christopher Columbus, they’re disrespecting the whole Italian culture.

22.  When something bad happens, it’s either because you didn’t go to church or you have the malocchio.

23.  You’re Italian– you cannot keep calm!

24.  Women who wear inappropriate clothing are automatically “puttanas.”

25.  You wait all year to start eating zeppoles on St. Joseph’s Day.

26.  You care more about the World Cup than American sports.

27.  In your house, Frank and Dean are played above any other singer.

28.  A large portion of your summer consists of attending fests in honor of saints.

29.  Your family’s biggest dream is for you to marry a “nice Italian boy.”

30.  Family discussions are as loud as a rock concert.

31.  Your grandmother’s couch is wrapped in plastic.

32.  85% of your clothes consist of animal print or black.

33.  Your Amerigon friends have trouble pronouncing your last name.

34.  You can’t leave the house without having a snack, which is the size of a meal.

35.  Even though you have a perfectly nice kitchen upstairs, your family uses the kitchen downstairs.

36.  You have a “horn” hanging in your car, room, and all around your house.

37.  Your family always has the good moozadell.

38.  You refuse to eat at the Olive Garden.

39.  When you tell your grandmother that you already ate, she still gives you a pound of pasta.

41.  You’re amazed that your Amerigon friends can let their hair air dry.

42.  Being a bridesmaid in a wedding is a six months to one year commitment, including dress fittings, parties, meetings, and several e-mails.

43.  Your parents will disown you if you don’t get married in a Catholic church.

44.  Blow drying and straightening your hair is a harder arm work out than going to the gym.

45.  You love your heritage because you know it’s the best!

1 comment

  1. Right on Mary Ann ! Married (Jim Fatigato) 30 years ago and I there is almost none of my heritage left….you officially become Italian! LOL
    And I make a pretty darn good gravy!

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